The Missing Disclaimer with Milli Fox | Ep.39

Theresa Lambert: 00:00:07

I believe in divine timing. I believe that the right people information, wisdom, guidance, heck things arrive when we're ready for them. I believe that owning our own truth unconditionally is the path to not only creative fulfillment, but more about success and abundance. This is not only a podcast to help you get strategic and mastered a position of success. It's a declaration to share the truth. It's a commitment to keep going to make it happen no matter what. It's an activation and invitation for me for you and for us to play a bigger game. So my question for you is this. Do you really want it? Do you really want to make your dreams come true? Do you really want to become a six figure coach? Welcome to the diaries of a six figure coach podcast. I am your host, Theresa Lambert. And I dare you to get ready to show up, boss up and make it happen.

Theresa Lambert: 00:01:01

Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of diaries of a six figure coach podcast. I am your host, Theresa. You know this, but I have a very, very incredible guests with me today, Milli Fox, Milli and I actually got to know each other on our business building journey. We both have beautiful coaching businesses, we both have a very similar philosophy around things. And I learned a lot from Milli about manifestations, how to manifest how to hold compassion around your manifestation I attended one of our incredible manifestation programs, and loved it. And I love her practical approach and her honest and authentic approach to manifestation. While it might be woowoo for some of you, I really love the voice she brings into that space. And I continue to see her growth and how she shows up in her life and in our business and what she's doing in the world and how she says and guides her clients. And I was inspired to ask her to come on the podcast because she's fantastic. And you're gonna learn so much from her. So welcome Milli,

Milli Fox: 00:02:10

Oh, my heart is just first thing that was such a sweet introduction. Thank you so much. I'm very happy to be here. Very, very happy and to connect with you, Theresa.

Theresa Lambert: 00:02:20

Oh my gosh, you're so welcome. So I know that like loads of people are out there with gigantic goals for that.

Milli Fox: 00:02:31

I actually do love that. I really, really do love that. Can I Can I just say why first? Like why? Oh, right. And Absolutely. Because people do not give themselves permission to dream. Like, and that is just the one thing that setting a really ginormous goal does is like, unlock so much permission within a person. So the way I view goals just real quick is that goals are for growing, you expanding you as a person, the goals are for growing, they're not forgetting. Okay, so we set the goals to expand ourselves. And we have to detach from the idea of actually achieving them. Because if we're manifesting, we can't be attached to it anyway. So it just has to be the joy in the setting. You know, that's what I think about it.

Theresa Lambert: 00:03:19

Oh my god, I love that goals of folk rowing, not for achieving.

Milli Fox: 00:03:25

Yeah, goals are for growing, not forgetting and I actually got that I will credit the source. It was from Bob Proctor his thinking into results program.

Theresa Lambert: 00:03:34

Fair enough. Fair enough. It's definitely left a legacy for for so many people around so many incredible teachings. I love this. This is such a powerful reframe. I would love to know how this has supported you on your business journey and especially around not getting attached to that goal or to that outcome that we want from especially I feel like in business, but it's also like in relationships and love and like reading and everything but I find it's so easy to to cling. And I know we can receive with a closed hand. So how do we do that? How did you get there? What does that look like for you and your business? And

Milli Fox: 00:04:18

it's been a journey for me, right? Because I'm super like, go getter overachiever. Type a sort of, I call myself a recovering perfectionist, right? So that's the lens really, that I teach through is because I understand how much pressure people put on themselves. Like I put immense pressure on myself. And I never gave myself permission to SET set big goals because if I didn't achievement achieve them, I would be a failure. You know what I mean? Like that would be just too hard for me like I needed to be really realistic, you know? So when I finally had this reframe myself around the goals being for rowing, not forgetting, I was like, wow. And I had, I had a coach who really encouraged me to set a big goal. And I was seeing a lot of really big, big achievements going on in the coaching space, right, like, lots of 100k months, lots of million dollars, million dollar months, like all of this stuff, right? And it was like, do like me too. Why not me? Like, yeah, it was a huge, like expansion and burst of confidence and permission to happen for me. And then like, a lot of people, I'm sure, I started to put this new type of pressure on myself to get into alignment and expand and all of this stuff. And I thought somehow, that like, this 100k month could just happen next month, you know, and I mean, like, I actually really was attached, that it was just like, to the idea that it was just gonna, like fall into my lap, and I was gonna have no idea where it was going to come from, it would have nothing to do with like, you know, systems I put into place. So, you know, pathways that I created for it to flow through. And that was like, month after month. Not being 100k Landing out of nowhere. I'm like, damn, I made less this month than I did last month. Oh. And that's, that's the problem, right? Is because we get really, like, we get into this weird passive state when we're manifesting and feel like there's some like big magic wand in the sky that's going to like, grant us this manifestation if we've done it, right. You know, and that's not how it works. And there is no right or wrong way to like manifest or like, get into alignment. It's not like this means to an end. It's, that's why I always say like, manifestation is a lifestyle. And it should be your operating system, because it's the most joyful way to live. Right? Is to be in the moment. And okay, so you asked me about my specific journey, right? So how did I, how did I detach from this? How did I do this? Let's let's go there. It was really hard for me to do that. Because when I want something, and when I have my mind, so I'm a five times called stuff stellium Capricorn. Okay, so like, we are trending up that mountain. Okay. Um, so for me, when I get my mind set on something, I'm like, I want it, I want it as fast as possible, I want it now. I don't stray from my desires easily once I have my mind set on something. So and then the the idea of need, okay, like, well, I need that, because if I have that, then I can do this, right? So this idea, like, I really knew it, and I heard the message over and over and over again, you have to fulfill your own weeds, like now you have to whatever it is, you feel like you need in the future to get something. Usually it's a feeling right. Usually, it's a feeling. So if it's money, you're looking for like safety, stability, confidence, you know, name your feeling that you're you think you're gonna get from money, and you have to become those things for yourself now. Right. And that was like, a difficult concept for me to embody. Because I can get really stuck in the tangible and the 3d and I think a lot of people can. So I, it didn't happen overnight. And that was another thing for me with like the manifesting and becoming her now. And all that stuff was like very hard on myself for not being able to flip a switch and detach, not being able to flip flip a switch and cultivate safely for myself, or stability, security, whatever. But I kept at it because again, I am that kind of person who is very persistent. And I'm still on the journey. Like I'm I don't know if the journey really ever ends. And that's, I think, a wonderful thing. Like I used to hear that and be like, Oh God, it never ends. But now, I'm like, Okay, no, actually, this is what we signed up for. We came here to Earth, like our souls signed the contracts to come down to earth and play this game. And what is the game? The game is moment to moment. It's feeling all the feelings. It's like experiencing the full range of human emotion and playing the Game of always coming back to what do I want to feel right now? What do I want to feel right now? And that is all that really, really matters, right? That's all that really, really matters. It's like, how do you feel right now, because like I said, you can't do manifestation right or wrong, you can only do it in a way that feels good. Because if it feels bad, when that's not actually intentional manifestation, it's just pretending you're trying to manifest, you know, you don't try, you feel good. And it happens. That's how it goes.

Theresa Lambert: 00:10:37

I love that you feel good. And that happens. And also, like, I think, this powerful reminder that really life happens. And now how we're feeling now, not how we're gonna feel when we achieve a certain thing, or when we get to a certain goal, but now, right and, and I appreciate you sharing about getting so attached to that number and, and seeing people having these huge financial wins after win after win after win, and, and then being like, oh, I can easily do that in a month. Like, absolutely, it's possible. And, and it's not that it's not possible, like but you know, you made a very valid point in that do you have the systems and the processes and the office and the revenue streams in place and the capacity from physical, like physical energy capacity to actually deliver the amount of trainings and offers that you'll have to do in order to actually be able to not just receive that money, but deliver what you say you're going to do, and I love that you're bringing this in, because when we get passive, and we just sit down, and I've certainly been there where I was like, I don't need to know how it's just gonna, I'm just gonna be aligned, and I'm just gonna fail. And it's just our room together. And, and, like, I really believe that for a while, it's Oh, and then I was like, hang on a second, this is actually working at all. And it's driving me crazy, because I can't seem to get there. And then I kind of put my strategic hat on, and really started looking at a move and set up to be able to do that, like could actually physically a handle it. Do I have the systems and offers in place. So it's a possibility. And so I started to actually take the actions to lay the foundation that one day that gets to be a possibility and does now. Yeah,

Milli Fox: 00:12:47

yeah, exactly. And so, and I'm just like, barely continuing myself. Because the thing is, like, that's part of the manifesting too, right. And like everything you said, about, you know, being aligned and whatever. Like, that's all true as well. But it's missing some disclaimers. It's missing some contacts. Like, that's the only thing it's not one or the other. It's not, hey, I tried to be in alignment, and it didn't work. So I have to go full 3d, you know, like, it's like, it's both and you're you don't need to know the how you just need to know the how right now, like, what is my house today? What is my next house? You know what I mean? And yeah, like, you can't see how all the pieces are going to line up? It's impossible, right? And then like when you said it's a bit Woo, in the beginning, I was like, you know, it could be but it also is very practical manifestation if you think about it, because if you are just so you don't believe in like magical, whatever forces that are at play. If you are visualizing, if you are goal setting, like we know this from like peak performance stuff, right? Like athletics, you will start behaving more in accordance with that outcome. Right? If we're just talking purely 3d, physical whatever. And then maybe you don't believe in like divine intervention, but like maybe call them coincidences, right? So of course, some coincidences are always bound to happen in life, and you're one foot in front of the other you're behaving the way that is required if the goal right so that's the part like that's the practical practical part of manifestation that kind of gets a little bit left out of like the highly spiritual and feminine side of manifestation where it's like, I call it star fishing, where it's like you just lay back and like yes, universe have your way with me. Which surrender is important, of course, is talk about that, but the universe wants you to like I say humpback whale So it's cocreation. Baby, you know, so you have to take the actions, you have to really go like exactly what I said, What's my house right now. And I have this goal like not goal setting, sorry, prioritization process that I do personally. And when I'm in it and using it, I get so much done, but still in like a state of ease and flow. So I always I tap in with my goals, my highest desires, ask myself, what are my top three priorities? So usually, the priorities are like goals, but they could be like some, you know, subsets of goals, right? Like, what do I right now. And I might do this twice a day. Because sometimes you revisit your morning list and you're like, oh, actually, that is not really a priority. This is the priority, right? Because you get more clear on what would be the more important thing to impact like highly impactful. So I call it priorities and impact, I still have to come up with some sexier name for this. But priorities. First, you set your priorities, what do I actually care the most about today? And then you ask yourself, What are the two most impactful tasks that I can take? That will move the needle the most? To get me closer to that goal and priority? You know, to get me closer to that goal? That's, you know, the subset of that priority, that makes sense. But I just do this process over and over again, when I'm not doing it. And I'm just kind of like, Yeah, I think that's what I need to do. And oh, this Yeah, I should do that. I feel called to do that right now. I mean, you are doing like tapping in and asking what you feel called to do when you're making this list? Because you're asking yourself, what do I desire most like, you're really you really are, but it's a very intentional way of coming up with your how, right? And when I'm doing the floaty thing. It's kind of just chaotic, it's kind of floaty, right. And I think that's what happens in that super, ultra feminine side of the manifestation world, it's like, and then we get disappointed. And I think that's what happens with a lot of spiritual and feminine entrepreneurs too, in their businesses, they kind of just like, go with the flow when they don't have the structures and the systems to support the direction of their flow. And so it is very important.

Theresa Lambert: 00:17:26

Yeah, I feel like that balance of masculine and feminine. I mean, I talk about that all the time. I I am, like, I have a very, like, strong belief system spiritually. I believe in manifestation, I, I very devoted to that part of me, and I love being in flow and creative, and I love space, and my calendar, and all those good things. And I love to create all that. But like you said, it actually only worked for me, once I, I allowed myself to put those structures in place, the strategies in place, the processes in place, like we all have a different, you know, approach to it, like I love that you're saying, you know, every day, it's like, what are the priorities, and then what are the two most important things that will really move me closer to that and then committing to doing them and you check in. So it's still an intuitive approach to your business, it's still rooted in that feminine energy, it's still very connected. But at the same time, it keeps you very focused. And, and I always like to say that your ability to be focused is a direct reflection for the for your ability to create the results that you want, whether that's in your business, or whether that's in anything in your life. But when we're all over the place. We we attempt to be like, dislike, well wind, and that is creative energy, right? Like, I mean, they always think about it like a painter that goes and paints this like while painting and froze different colors. And that's great. Right? And that's the process of creation, but we still a painting on a canvas. And so the Canvas can be that process that you get to tap into and then that gets to hold your beautiful painting that you're painting and that gets to hold you and I found that very supportive. And, and I love that you said those pieces missing and you said it's co creation baby. I love that. I love that. Because it helps us remember it's all of it. And I really believe in the oneness are things like ultimately it's one. Yeah, creation one multiple parts coming together as one moving as one harmoniously. Even when they seemingly seem opposite sometimes, right? Like, just say I have systems and processes, but I'm I'm a lot in my feminine energy might be for some people How is it possible, right? But it actually allows me to be fully relaxed in my feminine.

Milli Fox: 00:20:16

Exactly. Because you need like, if you think about a river, like you need the riverbed to hold the flow of the water, right? Like I always love that visual because it's so easy to connect with. And like what you said about the systems and structure. The other thing here too, and like, this is something that I've struggled with personally is like this pendulum swing, right? Where are we like, go really into the feminine and flow, and then we get the end in the systems and structures. And then we go, oh, this is not feeling good, this is not working. And then we swing all the way back over into the masculine the strategy or like, you know, I'm gonna make this happen, I am so committed that I'm going to do it right. And what happens in both situations, actually, is we are giving our power away to different things, right. So in the feminine side, what we're doing is we're giving our power away to like air quotes, like the universe, although I'm not saying like, I don't believe in the universe, I'm just saying, like, whatever we're believing is the the divine power with the magic wand in the sky, right. Or, like I said, yesterday, in my, in my master manifestation community, so don't give your power away to the vision. Right, because we visualize, I was actually leading like a visualization, which one of the things I say in my messaging all the time is like, we don't need to visualize all the time and vision board all the time and journal all the time in order to manifest like, because you're giving your power away to all those things, if you are believing that they're a means to an end, you know what I mean? So you can't give your power away to the vision or the universe or whatever. And then in the strategy side, you can't give your power away to the systems of the strategy, you can't go, oh, this is going to be my silver bullet strategy. This is going to be my silver bullet system, then now I'm gonna get the 100k, like, guaranteed, you know what I mean? Like, and I know how I would have heard this before, if I was listening to myself speak at a previous version of myself, I would have been frustrated hearing this, because I would have been like, well, then what do you actually do? What do you actually do? Right? And I don't like oversimplification. But the truth is, and I learned this over and over again to is that when you integrate concepts, when you embody concepts, you realize there is no real other way to express them, then very simply, because it is simple. Like I said, you feel good, and it comes right, you feel good in your systems, then they're supportive of you, you feel good in your journaling, then it's supportive of you, you feel good in your visualizations. And the thing I was sharing yesterday in my group was, when you're visualizing, it's not because you're reaching out to that vision, and trying to pull it in. Right, like neville goddard says, you always have to think from the state of the wish fulfilled. So basically, what he says is like, you're in the state of the wish fulfilled in your vision, right. And by doing that, by loving that vision so much, and just being grateful for the fact that you get to have that vision, because it gives you good feelings, visualizing makes you feel really good. Right. And that's the power. And that's the thing that you need to focus on and be grateful for is the fact that the vision is your gift, not the meet up not the achievement of the vision. So you're in the vision, state of the wish fulfilled. And by continuing to feel good and being in it, you build the bridge of incidents from the state of the wish fulfilled back to your current self. So you're not reaching outwards, it's coming in inwards to you, right? And it's coming from within you rather than something external that you're you're reaching for. So feel good in your visualizing. If you have a manifestation practice or business practice strategy, that doesn't feel good. Do something else. Do it differently. You have permission.

Theresa Lambert: 00:24:40

Yeah. And I think that's so important. I mean, I have all of my clients like the way I approach business strategy, I reverse engineer it. And we always start with how you want to feel and everything has got to align with that. And if it doesn't, we got to get creative and out what does it via

Milli Fox: 00:25:00

Billions of combinations. Yeah, yeah.

Theresa Lambert: 00:25:04

Oh my God, because it's so I feel like to this, as you know, certainly helped me and I feel like this really speaks to what you've been sharing is that when I started to approach my business and my strategy and my processes and systems and all this stuff from that same way off, does it feel and is in alignment with the way I want to feel now, because I have access to my emotions, we have all access to our emotions right now. Like right now you don't need anything. Because we, we have it right, access is dead.

Milli Fox: 00:25:40

Yeah, I want to add one more thing too, because what I have experienced personally, is I will nearly convince myself that a strategy feels good. Okay, I will nearly convince myself that it feels good, because I am so deep in belief that that strategy is going to be the silver bullet. So watch out for that, because we I'm a, I'm a three, five, emotional generator. So for the Human Design types. But if you're not a human design type, that third line is really about experimentation. So like, I need to learn by doing I need to try things before I can really take the lesson like I can't just learn it from so I can't take anybody's word for anything. And then I'm emotional too, right? So there's no certainty in the now for me. And I've really had to embrace these things. So I cannot like I give myself so much compassion for for trying on so many different strategies that weren't actually like a really good authentic fit for me. And then only having like, the clarity like hindsight 2020, you know, so?

Theresa Lambert: 00:26:47

No, I feel that well, I'm a free five emotional manifesting generator. Yeah, and I have an open head open up on an open. All my other centers are defined. And so I'm, like, I really have I've been tapping into certainty is the feeling in the moment.

Milli Fox: 00:27:12

Yeah, that's great. Yeah, we're so similar, actually. Yeah.

Theresa Lambert: 00:27:18

I've tried things. And that's why I also believe in in like, every month I review, I reflect I look back on the month, what worked, what didn't what felt good, what didn't feel good? Does this strategy still feel good? Or do you know, is it time to refine it, and we get to do that again, and again, and again, and again, and we get to, and how we do things, but it's really been, for me having the joy in the journey really, really honoring that piece? That has helped me to keep going through all the times when things weren't working, didn't look the way I wanted them to. The results didn't come in scary looking at bills to pay and like I've, I've been there like, and I always say that, like I, I've been there. And it was scary. And I know what it feels like to be responsible for your own economy, to be responsible for your own paycheck to be responsible to pay people like

Milli Fox: 00:28:21

do not shame yourself for feeling fear. Oh, no. Fear is a protective emotion. Like, I really don't like it. When somebody uses it to try to shameful Oh, you're, you're in fear and fear. You're like you're operating out of scarcity. You know what I mean? Like, that's where compassion is really helpful in manifestation. You know, like, oh, there's so many places where it's such a powerful tool. I talk about it all the time. I know, you know that.

Theresa Lambert: 00:28:50

I love that. And I think that's so important. And it's like, I always look at it, like, can I have compassion and ask myself, like, what's a different way I could look at this. And for us, the three lines, right? What am I learning from this? Like, what's the lesson here? But 100% I think to that, it's like, it's so much just aligning to around our emotions I have found is not not judging them as bad or good, but just saying, hey, there's an emotion.

Milli Fox: 00:29:21

Yeah. Yeah. Right, like being able to name it is so powerful. And I was gonna tell you to that my word for 2023 is attunement. Which is like what you said like just in the moment, like how do I really feel about this? How do I really feel like what is my intuition telling me here? Am I listening? Am I paying attention? What is my nervous system telling me here? Like that's a whole other level of like listening to your body.

Theresa Lambert: 00:29:54

Oh my gosh, I love that. Yeah, my my number one goal for 2023 was how thing a common regulated nervous system? Yeah, I

Milli Fox: 00:30:03

joined, I joined a nervous system like regulation membership myself.

Theresa Lambert: 00:30:08

That's awesome. Ya know, I feel like there is a lot to be said about that. And I know oh my god, like, I feel like you and I could like, keep talking for hours. I might have to have you back as like an encore from this, but I would love to know, from you like, what would be something you would say to someone who's just beginning maybe with manifestation or might feel frustrated with you know, it's just not coming in like, and I'm doing something wrong and like, like, what would you ask them? What would you say start here.

Milli Fox: 00:30:42

So when I got really deep, like him, I've known about manifestation for a very long time, like my dad was into it and things like that. He gifted me Abraham's CDs, but I, in my adult life, I really came back to it a few years ago, handful of years ago. And Amanda Francis, if you know her, she's a coach that teaches a lot around manifestation. She says you can't suck it up. Right? And when I first heard that, I was like, How can you not like there's a right way and a wrong way? Everything. Like, because if it's not working, you're obviously messing it up. That was my mentality around it. And so it's, it's actually the truth. Okay, let me tell you, you can't mess it up. Because it's about the journey. It really is about the journey. And it's that hearing that frustrates you. You have work to do, okay, in your work, is to start enjoying your life more right now. Like you have to, you have to meet your own needs more. Because otherwise, you're actually ditching ownership, you're ditching responsibility, you need to take radical responsibility. And I don't mean for what's happening to you, or your circumstances. I mean, for your moment, right? For how, and I talked about, like, it's about tipping the scales, okay. It's not about being perfect in our thoughts every moment. Like, I believe our thoughts happen to us. We decide what we do next with them. Right? Like, sometimes we get intrusive thoughts, you have to decide what you're going to do next. So we have to take like, radical responsibility for our moment to moment with a ton of grace and compassion. And just keep moving forward. Just Be persistent about it. Get that burning desire in your heart and love the desire. The desire is the gift, you know, not the receiving, oh, my God. Yeah, being super open.

Theresa Lambert: 00:32:57

I feel this so much. Because it's a reflection of where I'm at, and an embodiment of where I'm at in my life. Now, that's so good. And choosing that and, and making tough decisions. And every day getting up and being like, how, how do I want to feel and how can I create the most exquisite moments of now, one at a time at a time and bat breaking it down to the simplest things you know, like it always the simple things, but it really is like that journey and coming to the place of being that I want it to be for so long, which is a loving, peaceful state where I'm like, my mind's been quiet. I have not had a busy mind since the beginning of the year. It's now January 20. As we're recording this episode will end February so we'll see where I'm at. But it's been a very blissful, joyful place to be. But it requires this focus on the journey and not on anything else on the moment and not on what's coming, or what has been all

Milli Fox: 00:34:10

present in making those choices over and over again. It builds so much self trust, right? It really when you can trust yourself to be there for you. And to give you what you need. Then you can really lean into trusting the universe. Oh

Theresa Lambert: 00:34:32

my gosh, so true. It is so true. I definitely feel like trust is just present now. But this was not the case. But that is another story. Milli This was amazing. I feel like my listeners will want to know where to find you. How can they follow you? How can they tap More into all the beautiful things that you have to offer around manifestations and supporting them in their business and in their life.

Milli Fox: 00:35:04

Yeah, so my main main spot is Instagram, you could come and find me there. I've got goodies at the links in my bio. The main main way that I support women is through my master manifestation community. It's a membership hub. Lots of courses, lots of support, lots of really incredible sisterhood and community. And then I also have another tier, which is called mompreneur. Plus you do not have to be a mom, mom stands for Master of manifestation, mompreneur plus, which is the entrepreneurial tier where we get into like the business side of manifestation, as well as strategy too. So we've got those two options. And then I'm doing lots of fun pop up stuff this year. So just hit my stories, because that's where I'm going to be sharing all the details about offers for now.

Theresa Lambert: 00:35:50

I love that, well, I'll make sure that the link to your Instagram is in here. And then people can check out the Lincoln bio, and I would highly recommend dropping into Milli as well. And following her and seeing what she has to say, I've certainly learned so much from you. And it's been such a joy that I get to I feel like CO create alongside each other in business and in life. And we have this beautiful connection and I love that that's continued on, regardless of what's happened in our world or where we've both been in the world because we both being and living in different places. And

Milli Fox: 00:36:25

yeah, hey maybe we get to meet in real life one day.

Theresa Lambert: 00:36:28

I know I missed you went I was in Toronto, so maybe, maybe you know, there's gonna be a trip back to Toronto at some point in 2023. So hopefully this time we'll we'll get to actually see each of them Milli. Oh, thank you so much. This was such a joy. Remember everyone? The Journey focus on the journey. Really listen to this because I feel like you're gonna pick up different pieces that will really be important. And make sure you follow Milli at Milli Fox on her Instagram and have the most brilliant rest of your week. Take care.